April is Alcohol Awareness Month!

By Chrissie Dziembowski

The first day of April is tomorrow, which is also the first day of Alcohol Awareness Month!

In the latest SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration) newsletter--which has a ton of great information--they have an article about a new DVD game to help parents talk to their kids about alcohol. For all the info click here!

You should also check out Too Smart to Start (theres also a link on the right sidebar) a website that helps youth, families, educators, and communities prevent underage alcohol use and its related problems. It provides useful programs and strategies, downloadable materials, interactive games and exercises, and other resources to support you in responding to The Surgeon General's Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking.

Answering the Question: "Did you do drugs?"

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America has a great website (you'll see a link on the sidebar to the right) with lots of resources for Parents and Teens. Read below for a great Tool from their Talk Kit about how to handle the conversation when your child asks you, "Did you drugs when you were younger?"

Answering the Question: “Did You Do Drugs?”
The issue isn’t about your past. It’s about your children’s future. What’s important now is that your kids understand that you don’t want them to use drugs.

For many parents, a child’s “Did you ever use drugs?” question is a tough one to answer. Unless the answer is no, most parents stutter and stammer through a response and leave their kids feeling like they haven’t learned anything—or, even worse, that their parents are hypocrites. Yes, it’s difficult to know what to say. You want your kids to follow your rules and you don’t want them to hold your history up as an example to follow—or as a tool to use against you. But the conversation doesn’t have to be awkward, and you can use it to your advantage by turning it into a teachable moment.

Some parents who’ve used drugs in the past choose to lie about it—but they risk losing their credibility if their kids ever discover the truth. Many experts recommend that you give an honest answer—but you don’t have to tell your kids every detail. As with conversations about sex, some details should remain private. Avoid giving your child more information than she asked for. And ask her a lot of questions to make sure you understand exactly why she’s asking about your drug history. Limit your response to that exchange of information.
The discussion provides a great opportunity to speak openly about what tempted you to do drugs, why drugs are dangerous, and why you want your kids to avoid making the same mistakes you made.

The following are good examples of the tone you can take and wording you can use:

"I took drugs because some of my friends used them, and I thought I needed to do the same in order to fit in. In those days, people didn’t know as much as they do now about all the bad things that can happen when you take drugs."

“Everyone makes mistakes and trying drugs was one of my biggest mistakes ever. I’ll do anything to help you avoid making the same stupid decision that I made when I was your age.”

“I started drinking when I was young and, as you can see, it’s been a battle ever since. Because of my drinking, I missed a big part of growing up, and every day I have to fight with myself so it doesn’t make me miss out on even more — my job, my relationships, and most importantly, my time with you. I love you too much to watch you make the same mistakes I’ve made.”

For more info on the the Parent Talk Kit click HERE!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

by Chrissie Dziembowski

Happy St. Patrick's Day! For me today is really more about being my younger sister's birthday and enjoying seeing everyone dressed in green, but to many it is a day all about...you guessed it...drinking! It is amazing how a day to celebrate an Irish Saint has now become (in the U.S.) one of green beer, bars opening at 7am, and of course all the druken mishaps that go along with excessive drinking.

But towns are taking notice and addressing the crazy celebration. For example, every year Scranton holds it St. Patty's Day parade, and this year they also included a big push to drink responsibly and also addressed underage drinking. Click HERE to read the full story in the Scranton Times-Tribune.

Also, click HERE for the history of Saint Patrick's Day and all things Irish! The funny thing is, people in Ireland celebrate today by going to church, as it is considered a religious holiday!

Talking to Your Kids About Suicide

This post, by Beth Mingey, is in response to the recent tragedy involving two Interboro High School students. Athough devastating, it is important to use this time as a teachable moment.


Parent Awareness Series: Talking to Your Kids About Suicide From the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide

Every parent would like to believe that suicide is not relevant to them or their family or friends. Unfortunately, it's all too relevant for all of us. It's the 3rd leading cause of death in adolescents and the 2nd for college-aged students. Even more disturbing are national surveys that tell us that 25% of high school students admit to thinking about suicide and 8.5% acknowledge actually making an attempt. The unfortunate truth is that suicide can happen to ANY kid in ANY family at ANY time!

So how do you deal with this reality? Once you acknowledge that suicide is as much a risk for your child as not wearing a seat belt while driving, or using alcohol or drugs, or engaging in risky sexual behavior, you've taken the first step in prevention. You talk to your children about these other behaviors which can put them at personal risk and suicide is no different. It's something you CAN and SHOULD talk about with your children!

Contrary to myth, talking about suicide CANNOT plant the idea in someone's head! It can actually open up communication about a topic that is often kept a secret. And secrets that are exposed to the rational light of day often become less powerful and scary. You also give your child permission to bring up the subject again in the future.

If it isn't prompted by something your kid is saying or doing that worries you, approach this topic in the same way as other subjects that are important to you, but may or may not be important to your child:
● Timing is everything! Pick a time when you have the best chance of getting your child's attention. Sometimes a car ride, for example, assures you of a captive, attentive audience. Or a suicide that has received media attention can provide the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic.
● Think about what you want to say ahead of time and rehearse a script if necessary. It always helps to have a reference point: ("I was reading in the paper that youth suicide has been increasing..."; or "I saw that your school is having a program for the teachers on suicide prevention").
● Be honest. If this a hard subject for you to talk about, admit it! ("You know, I never thought this was something I'd be talking with you about, but I think it’s really important"). By acknowledging your discomfort, you give your child permission to acknowledge his/her discomfort, too.
● Ask for your child's response. Be direct! ("What do you think about suicide?"; "Is it something that any of your friends talk about?"; "The statistics make it sound pretty common. Have you ever thought about it? What about your friends?")
1
● Listen to what your child has to say. You've asked the questions, so simply consider your child's answers. If you hear something that worries you, be honest about that, too ("What you're telling me has really gotten my attention and I need to think about it some more. Let's talk about this again, okay?").
● Don't overreact or under react. Overreaction will close off any future communication on the subject. Under reacting, especially in relation to suicide, is often just a way to make ourselves feel better. ANY thoughts or talk of suicide ("I felt that way a while ago but don't any more") should ALWAYS be revisited. Remember that suicide is an attempt to solve a problem that seems impossible to solve in any other way. Ask about the problem that created the suicidal thoughts. This can make it easier to bring up again in the future ("I wanted to ask you again about that situation you were telling me about...").

Here are some possible warning signs that should get our attention:
● STATEMENTS that convey a sense of hopelessness, worthlessness, or preoccupation with death (" Life doesn't seem worth it sometimes"; "I wish I were dead"; "Heaven's got to be better than this").
● BEHAVIORS that are different from the way your child acted in the past, especially things like talking about death or suicide, taking dangerous risks, withdrawing from activities or sports, or using alcohol or drugs.
● FEELINGS that, again, seem different from the past like irritability, anxiety, sadness, hopelessness, loss of interest.
● SITUATIONS that can serve as ‘trigger points' for suicidal behaviors. These include things like loss or death, getting in trouble at home, in school, or with the law, or impending changes for which your child feels scared or unprepared.

If you notice any of these things in kids who have always been impulsive, made previous suicide attempts or threats, or seem vulnerable in any way, you really should get consultation from a mental health professional.