Oh the Power of Facebook!

By Chrissie Dziembowski

We all know that Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with friends, share pictures, and update people on your life's happenings, but its also an incredibly fast way for teens to communicate and coordinate events and parties--both good and bad. Recently in Bucks County, 500 teens showed up to a Community Center for a Playboy-Themed party. Click HERE for the full story!

Are you "friends" with you son or daughter on Facebook?

"Tough Love" in the News & Kansas Task Force Pays for underage party tips

By Chrissie Dziembowski

I was watching ABC World News last night and saw a story on addiction among teens and how parents can deal. It included interviews with teens who are in recovery, as well as their parents advising other parents on what to look for. Tonight showed "Part Two". I think it may be an ongoing series this week... Click here to see the full story.

In other national news...

In Topeka, Kansas, police have teamed up with a local coalition to promote community members to report underage drinking parties. Those who call in could receive up to $2,000 as reward!
Read the full story here.

2.2 Billion spent on underage drinking in PA!

By Chrissie Dziembowski

This update came to me and I wanted to share it with you! In these tight economic times, and in a state that took what seemed like forever to pass the budget, I was amazed at how much money is spent in PA (between residents and the state) on the problems and costs associated with underage drinking--2.2 billion dollars annually!!! "Excluding pain and suffering from these costs, the direct costs of underage drinking incurred through medical care and loss of work cost Pennsylvania $752 million each year."

Check out where the money is going, and what other harms are directly associated with underage drinking: http://www.udetc.org/factsheets/Pennsylvania.pdf

But it all can be prevented! This only reinforces the need for prevention and education and how important it is to support our families and youth to make smart, positive decisions! Think of all the great things our state could do with that $752 mil...

Can you think of ways that we in Prevention can support parents to prevent this spending and underage drinking?

What's a Parent to Do?...

A Posting by Moderator Beth Mingey, Parent and Director of Prevention & Education at Holcomb Behavioral Health Systems:

I got a call from a dear friend of mine this morning about some issues she is having with her 16 year-old daughter. I’ve changed some details to protect her confidentiality, but basically, this is what she said...

“Well, you know, we had a big talk with Trina on Monday night because she had three F's on her report card. It's so frustrating! Once again she promises to do better, do homework, get up in the morning...blah, blah, blah. The same thing she's been saying since her grades dropped last year. My husband tells her that she's already ruined her chances at getting into a good college, you know, by 10th grade if you don't have the grades...anyway, we had a couple really nice talks, Trina was lovey and even cleaned up her room.

But last night I looked at her grades online and see she has 5 absences this week - now, she went to school all week...2 in Language Arts, 2 for Health and 1 in Study Hall. I ask her why, she looks a little panicked and gets up and goes in the bathroom, then goes to her room and goes to sleep. This morning she admits that she cut Language Arts and stayed in the cafeteria to study with friends. Does she really think I'm going to believe that?

Also, last night my husband came to me with his prescription bottle of Oxycodone...there are only 2 pills left, when last time he checked there were about 40. I'm freaked out, but you know, Trina had 2 friends sleep over on the weekend, they might have taken them?...Or her brother was home from college over the holidays?...My husband doesn't remember when the last time he looked at the bottle - so her brother could have taken them. But he's a good kid, I don't think he would do that.

My husband bought a drug test kit last year, when we thought Trina was smoking pot, but we never used it...Do you think we should test her? She's going to the school basketball game tonight with friends...maybe we should test her when she gets home. I thought of grounding her, but what good would that do? I mean, she's 16! She has to decide for herself what she wants to do!

I just don't know if I can handle this. I know I'm not always a good role model. I drink wine almost every night because I'm so stressed. I know Trina is unhappy--her whole lifestyle has had to change since we have been strapped for money in this down economy. Maybe if I just talk to her...I don't get it...we have this nice talk and she promises she'll do better and the next day cuts class!! That's crazy....what do you think I should do? ”

As I am listening to my friend go on and ask for my advice, I can’t help but think of other important background information on the family:

~There is addiction in the family: Trina’s Grandfather, Aunt, Cousin, perhaps even her mother.
~Trina has been caught drinking on at least 5 other occasions in the last two years, often taking alcohol from the basement.
~Trina has had two contacts with the law - one for “taking” an Ipod at school and one for making “threatening” prank calls. Trina had to do community service, but nothing is on her record.

My first impression of the phone call was huge ALARM BELLS!! Doesn’t my friend see them?!Changes: Drop in grades, cutting class, sleeping a lot, avoiding the family. Then concrete things - missing alcohol and pills - my gosh - my friend is the supplier for her own daughter without even realizing it!!

The second thing was the overwhelming UNDER REACTION by my friend! I really wondered to myself why a smart, intuitive, caring mom who knew first hand about addiction would chose not to address it. She had suspected Trina’s use for almost two years. Even bought a drug test but didn’t use it. I think this is a common, but unfortunate, reaction. She’s afraid. Afraid to face it, because then what does she do? Does she send her to rehab?...She has no money. Should she ground her?...She’ll have to go out eventually, and she’s using right at home anyway. What about her own drinking - will she have to stop drinking herself? She’s thinking, “What in the world do I do?”

Well, I feel doing nothing and hoping it gets better on its own could be a death sentence. I think she also feels shame: “Did I do something wrong? I’m a good parent, good parents don’t have drug using kids. What if someone finds out? What will I say? Well, maybe I won’t say anything and hope it goes away.”

Did you know, dying from prescription drug overdose recently surpassed drunk driving deaths in Pennsylvania? It is not something that happens to someone else. It happens to us.

I know Trina meant the promises she made to her mom to do better. I know Trina does not want to fail. But to me, all indications are, Trina is not in control and Trina is no longer thinking rationally. If Trina was thinking clearly, she would do better. If Trina was in control, she would be able to go to class and do her work, rather than cut class knowing she would be caught. Trina can’t change her own behavior because she’s not in control. The drugs are. And no matter how many promises, how many days/weeks of grounding, no matter how many electronics are taken away from her - if she doesn’t get her off the drugs, none of it will matter. My friend has a very sick child on her hands – Trina’s got an addiction. Trina (or my friend) didn’t cause it. Trina (or my friend) can’t control it. Trina (or my friend) can’t cure it.

But, my friend can address it. She can take action. She can teach herself about drug use and addiction, read, go to support groups, consult with experts, get professional help, get a second opinion. If your child was just diagnosed with diabetes, what would you do? Untreated diabetes can cause life long problems, even death. So can addiction and drug use.

What advice would you give to Trina's mom in this situation?